Obama and Swine Flu
“Someone once said when a black man becomes president pigs will fly. Sure enough 100 days later, ‘swine flew'”.
A friend texted me with that the other day and it got me thinking. There was too much goddamn hype on Obama’s first 100 days in office but the coincidental merge on the FLU PANDEMIC/APOCALYPSE/ARMAGEDDON/FUCK LIV TYLER IS HOT timestamp was actually something to ponder much on. A silent biological warfare retaliation by a particular disgruntled ex-president, maybe? I don’t know if I’ll get in trouble with this incriminating suggestion by giving out a name, but who cares. I’m talking about George B… Nixon.
But oh yeah, 100 days is surely one of the most effective method to evaluate the performance of presidential efficacy. On the 5th of May 2009, Obama was subject to high-profile criticism and such close-ranged scrutiny you have to wonder if they’re gonna cancel American Idol that night with the overwhelming media coverage he was getting.
ADAM LAMBERT FTW.
(Okay they didn’t cancel American Idol but Scrubs did get aired a day later though. I’m not a Scrubs fan so… mwehehe.)
America had always practised a veritable evaluation run-through of their leaders. That’s why it took them only 4 years to notice George B… err Nixon was fucking up the country. And hell, he was doing such a great job at it, why not elect him for another 4? He’s only semi-fucked the other countries during his 4-years stint, so it’s only fair to give them just as much attention and share of his rainbow-hued, puppy and lollipop love achievable through another 4. Palestine looks a bit desolate and explosion-less this year, we can fix that!
Compare the pre and post-Bush era. Aren’t we filled with more happiness and love now? :D
Am I pro-Obama? Not too sure myself, he was filled with so much hope and promise during his campaign. Heck, both those words were used to describe him in at least 11 out of 10 articles that brought up the subject of this new “full of hope and promise” candidate for presidency… and by bloggers that felt compelled to blog about him just to show they’re up-to-date intellects that are savvy with current world happenings and not just photo whores who pike up their stats with over-sexed and precarious party pictures.
Post #1: Here’s a picture of me during XXX’s birthday party! Hehe, he is such a silly goof!
Post #2: Our trip to the beach. What do you think of my skimpy bikini?
Post #3: OBAMA WON! Omg, I am so happy! He is so full of hope and promise I know that he would do greatly as the American president. :)
Post #4: Went to the club today to celebrate YYY going away party!!!!!!!
Goes to show just how influential Obama is. He is so imposing and powerful, he’s capable of disrupting the flow of supericial and bimbotic blog posts. I am in awe. It does reflect his 69% approval rating though. So far, reading up on his ‘achievements’ and following through on his actions, I’d say he’s a mid-paced realist. He’s not winning any points from me yet, but he hasn’t lost any either. We’ll probably see how it goes in the next “100 days after the first 100 days of Obama as president!” Followed by a quick review of what the next 100 after the first 100 days following the subsequent 100 days.
Oh, and by the way… you people are seriously goddamn idiots.
Swine flu isn’t going to kill us all. Too bad, cause I won’t mind having less idiots around. So here’s the scare; 2 deaths in the US already? Oh wow, that is just so terrifying, especially compared to the hundreds of death that would be caused by the common flu, at average, in a week. Now the hospitals are overloaded, billions are lost on cancelled air travels, students’ daily routines disrupted with the closing of several schools, and people are packing up on ammunition because when you’re shit-faced, scared and highly anticipatory of mass increase in morbidity rate, guns are apparently the best solution.
Wow. Humankind. We’re just fucking mindblowing geniuses.
It’s just the media set out to grab your attention. Now why would they do something like that, I wonder? Why would the media exaggerate and blow something completely out of proportions on something that would obviously pique our interest and boost their sales figures? It’s almost unheard of!
In case you forgot how stupid you are, here’s another brief reminder;
Swine Flu has a similar percentage of death rate as the common flu, the difference being that there is no mass vaccination programme unlike the common flu, which obviously has its own mass vaccination programme because well, I don’t know, it’s been around for far longer than Bush’s term as president? (Which, in retrospect, felt like it lasted forever). The common flu kills about 36, 000 Americans per year. That’s approximately an average of 100 deaths in a day. Swine flu’s first victim in 2009 (when the ‘virulent disease’ was at its inception stage) was on the 13th of April in Mexico. It’s almost four weeks now and it has claimed 42 victims in Mexico. Now, since the earlier figures were statistical results pertaining to America’s morbidity rate on the common flu, we should take note that there has only been two deaths reported since 29th of April in America. The first victim claimed was a susceptible 23 months old baby and the second was a pregnant woman. Within slightly over a week, the swine flu claims only 2 victims. Gee, how potent it is.
Also, both these victims were already riddled with various disease and health problems. The toddler has “a chronic muscle weakness called myasthenia gravis, a heart defect, a swallowing problem and lack of oxygen” while the pregnant lady suffered from “asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, a skin condition called psoriasis and was 35 weeks pregnant”. Was anyone surprised their lives caved in so easily?
Now new things are cropping up; A recent report by the New England of Journal, released by the CDC submitted details on the 22 hospitalised with swine flu. Nine had “chronic medical conditions”, one even has a congenital heart disease, while 5 alone were asthma sufferers. I do admit that the 900 confirmed cases in the US sounds quite daunting, however. [Source]
It’s all a media hype, nothing more. Now please just stop talking about how we’re going to die and how you fantasize yourself of being the heroine in Resident Evil (just with you not looking like the hot Mila Jovovich but more like the innumerable dead zombies) as we near the “apocalypse” and talk more about how they’re finally opening four halal KFC outlets in East London yay! Less about the panic of something so infinitesimally trivial and more about filling me up ’till I swell up like a balloon.
I didn’t get an ass this big without much hard-earned effort.