How did I do for my exams? Um… um… oh hey look an airplane!
Note: Click on the links below you lazy arses.
Guess who’s back?
No, not the lying fascists we call Malaysian politicians and their hike in petrol prices (Just have to mention this. If you’re Malaysian and have not mentioned/debated/argued/mentally assassinate Government members over this, then get out of this country. Specifically Japan, so you can buy me cool gadgets), but me!
Now quickly! Make an I-sincerely-care-about-your-thoughts-and-problems-because-I’m-paid-to-do-so face! You know, the one you make when… yeah, that one! Oprah has taught you well.
Exams are just about done and so is my four weeks of intense, comprehensive revisions… On modern movie genres and kickass novels.
Nah I’m just jiving with ya. Of course I studied well and hard and entered the exam halls fully prepared! In fact, I’m giving you a small curtain-opening to the activities I diligently pursued when I was highly motivated to revise:
1. I studied through… proving my awesome 1337-ness.
This involved stalking my own blog for inordinate amount of times on a particular day and trying to raise my own stat counts by revisiting repeatedly. Which apparently, doesn’t work. So I had to stay up until 5am, foregoing all known activities rendered entertaining (like drawing unicorns! And pink ponies! …Killing each other), waiting for something.
A pair of bloodshot eyes and 5 hours of constantly refreshing this page and being deprived of random, senseless killing of cute things which the world severely lacks later; and I finally got it:
I know, I know. Get a life. Don’t worry, I am. Currently, it’s 84% done and the download speed is picking up.
2. Updating myself on general knowledge that bears relativity to accounting.
I took up the effort of not only improving my studies, but obtaining the general well-being of an informed mind. In fact, I don’t mind sharing the substantive knowledge I have garnered with you lesser-enlightened beings. For instance, did you know that;
i) 300 Spartans obsessed with tanning oils stood against a Persian king that underwent sexual reconstructive surgery and his 1 million armies made up of skilled assassins, aberrant monsters, and scariest of all, green screens and an impressive CGI-effect teams? I know this because I’m highly versed in grossly embellished, bastardised Hollywood version world history.
ii) That when people come back from the underworld, you see a flash of green light over the horizon? I haven’t witnessed it myself, but this documentary with like, jaw-dropping, goddamn sizzling hot pirates and the undead and like lots of Arr-ing claims so, so it has to be true.
ii) That although it may not seem so… Malaysia is like, a country! With a governing body acting as, like, a Government! And you thought we were run by sex fiends, possibly homicidal individuals and money-crazy dumbfucks. Shame on you, tch.
God I’m so knowledgeable.
3. Proving my awesome 1337-ness… with a bunny.
Beat that, you people with better things to do with your life!
Okay, for real now. I’ll tell you, without pretense, how awesomely prepared I was.
T6 (Drafting Financial Statements) on 2nd June:
9 hours of reading before the hour of doom. 5 hours of it being continuous.
T7 (Planning, Controlling and Management Performance) on 3rd June:
12 hours of reading whatever notes I had since I never bought the textbook (I’m sorry Mr. Song! I didn’t lose most of your notes, I uh… recycled them out of love for the environment! See? I’m hugging a tree. See?). 7 of it continuous.
T9 (Taxation and Computations) on 10th June:
18 hours of reading a book with the font size of a sub-divided atom with 500-odd pages on tax related facts (And delightful it rather was! Now can someone give me a lighter?). 12 of it continuous.
T10 (Managing Finances) on 11th June:
7 hours of watching movies while the roommates weren’t around and 5 hours of continuous studying when they were (It’s hard to study when it’s so quiet. God bless these noisy, inconsiderate people that have sat through their last paper days before and does not give a rat’s ass when it comes to the plight of others).
You know what, studying is evil. It’s a sin. My books were pristine before, and now, much to the horror of… well nobody, really, they’re severely dog-eared and crumpled. Crumpled! Within just a few hours! Books are meant to make you appear intellectual, damnit. Who cares if you actually read it? How are we pseudo-intellects supposed to cope? I didn’t buy geek glasses for nothing!
Please stop doing that.