Of Happiness and Valiums

Chronicling my strife with the universe.

Special 2008 Classmates Feature!

with 5 comments

I think I’m going to blog about my classmates now.

Presenting. Class CT2A (Personally pronounced as Ceh-Teh-Two-Aa. I know I’m creative, thanks).

I know! That short-haired faux-chinese chick near the bottom is cute! I think so too! And such a resplendent aura she emits!

I know that awkward silence and wtf expression of yours is a show of praise and tribute to her.

This is when I burst with exulted laughter and glee and admit shyly that that girl we’re admiring is actually ME! Right before you crack open my skull with a machete and drag my obscenely cute carcass to the dog kennel.

On another unrelated note, I do realise I have only 3 male classmates. I also do realise the ascii emoticon equivalent of their expressions are:

I’m in the mood to write individual testimonials on these three.

  • Hariz; aka guy-who’s-open-mouth-you’re-tempted-to-poke-a-chopstick-into

Hariz has got to be the most spastic and attention desperate male throughout my whole period being here. His sudden exclamation of glee/terror/surprise is like a festering zit that pops from just barely applied pressure.

Kelas cancel hari ni beb.

KELAS CANCEL? WEH KELAS, KELAS PUAN LELA CANCEL LAH! WEH ‘IFFAH, NGKO TAHU TAK KELAS CANCEL? TAHUTAKTAHUTAKTAHUTAKTAHUTAKTAHUTAK??? DAHLAH AKU TAK BUAT ASSIGNMENT DOE! JOM PANGGIL PUAN LELA CAKAP HANISAH BELANJA DIE TEH TARIK.

Nape aku plak?

“SEBAB KELAS CANCEL!!!!! DAN SEBAB NGKO PAKAI JEANS BIRU HARI NI!!!

….

Bisinglah Hariz. Diamlah.

APE TU DJ? NGKO NAK DATE AKU??? JOM PEGI DATE KAT BUS STOP SEROJA!!!!

His erratic remarks astound us too. It’s like he has the IQ equivalent of a goldfish. (On an interesting note, goldfish has memory spans of 5-15 seconds). This version is a more subdued him. Otherwise, he would be hopping around and sticking his face in people’s noses.

To be honest with you though… as a girl… I do have daydreams concerning him… Oh this is so embarrassing! I’ll share it with you nonetheless, teeheehee.

  • Suhail Alia; aka guy-with-no-bladder-control

I don’t know much about him, except for the fact that he’s a pretty serious guy. In disposition and in studies. Reticent, stoic and probably faring the best out of the whole lot.

He loosened a bit this term when he became the girls’ faux ‘love interest’.

“Suhail, kenape Nell ade nombor engkau? Nak marah ni! Curang!!”

“Nasiblah ‘Iffah… Suhail dah cakap kat aku die tak suke awak. Kan Suhail, kan?”

“Eh nak muntah lah… Suhail cakap die sayang aku sorang je. Semalam die sms aku bagitau.”

“Blahlah Odah… Aku tau semalam Celcom je SMS engkau… Nak cakap Suhail, manusie biase pun takde nak SMS engkau.”

“Eh ‘Iffah, engko bagitau sume orang nape? Nanti aku cucuk lubang idung kang.”

“Tak kisah! Tak kisah!! Nak Suhail gak! Nak Suhaaaaiillll!”

“…………………………………………………”

By this time, his expression would be a hybrid of amusement, panic and bladder-control-desperation. He learnt to smile at their antics and after a while, even managed a Casanova-esque response or two, which is; “Uh…” or “

Suhail, you naughty boy you!

“Suhail, cakap awak sayang saye! Sekarang!”

“TAKLAH SUHAIL! AKU AKU! BUKAN NELL! TENGOK, SIAP AKU LETAK ENGKO UNDER ‘SAYANG’ DALAM HANDPHONE!”

“Desperate gile babi engko due ni. Dah aku cakap aku punye, aku lah.”

“Eh shaddaplah Odah… okay, Suhail. Engko pilih antara kite tige. Sape engko pilih?”

“Eh cop cop… aku nak gak! Aku nak gak!”

“Ok, antare kite tige dan budak menyibuk ntah sape ni. Pilih. Sekarang.”

“A’ah. Sekarang.”

“You better pilih betul-betul.”

“Cepat.”

The outcome?

And last but not least;

  • Anwar; aka fuck’s-wrong-with-my-classmates…

Anwar is fragile looking. Skinny and tall, he’s not exactly your ‘surprise-piggy-back!!’ type. He’s friendly and seemingly normal. Out of the three, he’s probably the one I talk to the most. On top of that, our conversations are always very enigmatic and animated. There’s just so much to talk to him about!

Just like two chattering housewives!

What’s surprising is that he doesn’t exactly strike you as the attractive type, but he banters in a rather familiar way with two of the prettiest classmates in class. I’m saying the scenario is something like “I WILL sleep with you if you were the last man on earth!”

Look closely, and you will notice the desperation etched in the faces of my boys-stricken classmates. God knows we need good looking guys as classmates. Or at least more than three guys. Well, actually more than two guys and one spastic idiot.

Personally though, I’m rather wishing for more hot, sexy, all legs mamacitas.

…It’s not what you think! It’s to… uh… distract the male lecturers! So that they’d forget to give us assignments! Yeah!

That’s it for now. I’m tempted to do a special feature on the Top 3 Hottest Female Classmates and List of Annoying Classmates. Maybe next post. Maybe even individual photos if my myspace and friendster stalking abilities are not lacking.

PS: How’s my stick figure drawing abilities?! I’m the most talented you’ve ever seen in this department, yes? YES?! Oh god Hariz’s mental retardation is rubbing off on me.

Written by aziemah

April 19, 2008 at 8:21 am

Posted in CAT/ACCA

5 Responses

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  1. … You wear skirts? >_>

    Knives

    April 21, 2008 at 12:44 pm

  2. You are tagged! Go to my site and check it out. Then DO IT!! XP

    pervertism101

    April 22, 2008 at 3:24 pm

  3. Hey! Funny funny u..laughed my head off..haha..

    Larry Nyanti

    April 23, 2008 at 3:44 am

  4. wow, soo gory!
    i found your blog. muahahahhahahahahha!!

    nurisya

    April 27, 2008 at 1:38 am

  5. i’m ubercuteness? haha thank you!
    n wuts that about hariz asking me out! gelinya!

    dyjae

    May 10, 2008 at 2:13 pm


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