Of Happiness and Valiums

Chronicling my strife with the universe.

Cannonball Babies

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I was perusing all my unused papers from last semester to burn recycle because I love the earth so much. (<3 Environment. Don’t call the feds).

Much to my surprise, I unearthed holy letters explaining the secrets of genesis and how I am a superior human being some written entries from one of my notepads that pretty much summarised my frustration at being in UiTM. Now I’m not as frustrated, but ho boy, last year I was a pretty mad person. Mad being a gross understatement. Check out one of the entry:

***

Subject: T5; Managing People and Systems

Lecturer: Puan Sahilda (Currently seven/eight months pregnant. Basketball sized abdomen. Much staring involved.)

10.30am, 24 seconds. (Showing off the minute-minding powers of my new watch muhahaha)

It’s this class again. God. Everytime I have this class, I’m tempted to:

  1. Commit massive genocide upon my study-challenged course mates (Well, they’re not dumb but when you’re staring into twenty-odd managerial theories you’re semi-tards clinging to the last bits of your intelligence by burning a hole in your watch. Much like what I’m doing.)
  1. Pray to the gods of fertility so that Puan Sahilda’s unborn baby (her tummy looks ripe) would just slide out of her like a cannonball. Then we can celebrate the magnificent miracle of a new, innocent life bring introduced to this world in a most awe-inspiring light; and more importantly… Dismiss class (Not sure if the gods are fertility is responsible for actual child birth and not insemination. Currently wondering if Gods of childbirth exists).
  1. Start a fire in Nell’s pants (Stop asking redundant questions and stalling the lessons, ‘natch!). If she needs to get laid but can’t, at least I’m bringing some heat to her, right?
  1. Pet a bunny. Bunnies are so cute.

10.42am

Firdaus just pointed out that Nell’s not wearing pants… dang! The cosmic universe is always against me! I shake my fist in angry indignation at you, cosmic universe.

11.00am

Dear God… Time is moving at a crawl. Half a crawl, even.

11.05am

*Starts to bang head against table. Stops as Puan Sahilda looks at me funny.*

11.09am

Currently Group A is presenting their group work on ‘Ouchi’s Theory Z’.

Apparently Ouchi is a person.

I can already imagine the guy in a psychiatrist’s chair, having to resolve the issues from his name-induced traumatising childhood. If there were a person named Ouchi in class right now whom I could ridicule, life would be so much better.

Alas.

11.20am

I need to pee again. This is like my eighth time and it’s not even noon yet. Either I should worry about possible disruption of kidney functions caused by underlying ailments… or not drink five glasses of water for Sahur.

Dilemmas.

11.25am

Only FIVE minutes have passed???

11.39am

I’ve been working on the railroad… all the live long day~~~ Oh look, is that my sanity I see floating away? :D

11.45am

Dear God, stop it. Please stop it now. Please, God. Cannonball babies!

11.50am

…Now butterflies are floating overhead~~

12.02am

CLASS. IS. OVER.

Books; check.

Stationeries; check.

Calculator; check.

Notebook with list of today’s homework; check.

Phone; check.

Sanity: …

***

And that’s it. Thank God I never have to go through papers that are fully theory-related this semester. Thank God I didn’t go crazy as well.

Oh look, butterflies~~

Written by aziemah

March 4, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Posted in CAT/ACCA

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