A Langkawi Haunting
This was my second personal experience, and compared with the first, I didn’t actually witness a spectral figure or sensed a ghastly presence of anything. For that, I refused to call it a supernatural awakening. Still it was creepy.
I spent the remainder of my Raya holidays in Langkawi with relatives. This meant – for me – free food, free lodging, free rides, free tourism activities and you know, the experience of familial bonding and shared closeness with your related kin or whatever.
DID I MENTION FREE FOOD!?!?
On the last day before having to leave early tomorrow morning, we headed out to a few tourist spots namely Makam Mahsuri, Forgettable and Overpriced Tourist Spot #1, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me Location #2, This Sure Was a Pleasant 5 Minutes Experience That Took Us Half an Hour to Get Here #3, Langkawi Cable Car and Underwater World Langkawi. Of course, dehydration was a constant bother so I chugged bottles of water as we drove to the designated places. My 3 years old niece, Adriana, probably excited by the sudden elasticity of my abdominal area, decided to play bouncy ball on my full bladder and refused to sit anyplace other than directly above the Human Organ Balloon. I am much tempted to verbosely tell you how extremely pleasant that experience was but it was actually dimmed by the more excruciatingly thrilling events of driving on bumpy streets and over speed bumps while having an approximately 15kg giggly and jumpy deadweight on your bursting full bladder.
I heart kids. We should teach them to play with scissors and other random sharp objects.
Anyway, it was a seven-seater car, and I sat way back with the kid. She was at an impressionable age undergoing the mimicking phase. She’d imitate your actions and words and I was quite proud of the new range of profanit—err vocabularies that I exposed her with. Wouldn’t it be nice if she grew up into a Jr. Aziemah? I’d be making the world a favour ‘cause she’d have my bubbly optimism, egregious generosity and love for all things happy and cute teehee! :D
Dyjae stop gagging.
We were driving to the Underwater World (actually enjoyed the place) and she was staring intently at the back windshield, at the miniature horizon growing smaller as we drove past thickets of bushes and sparsely grown trees. Then she pointed out the window, and I presumed she was pointing at the car behind us;
“There’s someone there! Someone over there!”
“Uh… congratulations kid. You can detect humans. Your mom must be proud.”
“There’s someone there!”
“Yeah it’s called a driver. Wow, right? Your aunt Aziemah is a genius.”
She was pointing vigorously still and I noted that the car behind us already drove past. There was nothing there. Before I comprehended anything, she asked the window;
“You want to go to auntie Aziemah’s house? You do?”
She nodded excitedly a few times and turned to me;
“Can we go to your house? Can we?”
Note that the house she was referring to is the adjacent room my cousin rented for me at Kampung Tok Senik. By this time, alarm bells started ringing… though it was just Beyonce’s ‘Ring The Alarm’ song playing on my Zune.
“Uhhh… who’s going to my house? You’re going to my house, Adriana?”
“Yeah I want to go to your house too!”
“Then”, I emphasised this part out of paranoia, “only YOU can come to my house.”
I thought the matter settled, eked out some courage and tried to focus on burning a hole on the backseat of where my eldest sister was sitting (This is for chuckling whenever we ran over a bump, you No. #1 sister in the world you!) before lil’ Adriana started doing something more creepy. She continued staring outside the window for several minutes, and just like how she’d imitate me everytime I stuck my tongue out at her, she started the imitation of bulging her eyes out and sticking her tongue much further out than people usually would. Her whole tongue stuck out of the crevice of her sinisterly creepy smile and she kept her eyes bulged for quite some time, all the while keeping an intense stare outside the window. I just gaped at her, chilled to the bone at the creepy face she was making and made a mental note to sleep under the covers that night… not because I’m scared, but, uh… because I’m… anticipating chilly weather and such and such.
After that, she got distracted as 3 year old kids would usually do and resumed her favourite pastime of imagining auntie Aziemah’s full bladder as a makeshift trampoline.
I almost prayed for her new friend to come back.
The creepiest thing was, when we got back that night and I slept in my respective bed… It happened… I actually…
…Slept like a frikkin’ baby.
Thanks for inviting the Sandman over, kid. Here have a penknife. Pergi main jauh-jauh, preferably without adult supervision.
A Death of A Loved One…
So Diecisis died. Had a power trip, and then refused to load windows. I entered BIOS and did a disk check and sure enough, it confirmed that her harddisk died. In human anatomical terms, her heart stopped beating.
I’m just angry at her. I mean, I know I’ve made a new friend and life companion and all, but she didn’t have to act the way she did, dying like she did. Okay, maybe I neglected her a bit… didn’t even look at her for the past two weeks… Flaunted her new rival in front of her constantly…
I’M SORRY DIECISIS I’VE BEEN VERY MEAN TO YOU PLEASE COME BACK! T_____T
I guess I should write an eulogy or commemmorate the day she died. In fact, I know exactly what to do.
Let’s show off the new Compaq even more! :D
New wallies:
User Pictures:
Siamese Satans
Grotesque Overlord
Killer Rabbit!
Peaceful Slumber
I was using this for some time, until someone told me it’s too morbid and twisted, so I changed it to match the current wally:
Which is this one:
Made the Samurize skin (the green bubble thingies) myself, with actual working media buttons! :D I’d say ‘Wow’ to my self effort, but I hate that word on account that when directed to me, it’s usually followed by ‘You look like a girl!’.
…I may now have deep-rooted psychological issues that would affect me in the future.
Anyway, can’t stop pimping Azrin up (Not my sister, I just decided to finalise the laptop’s name and at the same time express gratitude to the person who contributed money… Though it’d be cool if I can pimp my sister $___$). She’s undergone several makeovers, and now I feel like a rich husband giving my wife breast implants and botox injections which is yeah, disturbing… I should you know, what’s that word called, interact with actual living people and that like, human communication thing… Oh right, socialise.
And I’m out, yo. *Does lame hip-hop hand gestures, pimp stylez* (That would sure make me popular with people :D)
Note: All pictures were stolen from DeviantArt…
I’ve found my soul mate!
I’ve always been attached to laptops and I had my first when I was 14. I already knew how to download files the year before that and it made having a laptop all the more fun. It was a Dell (let’s name it Takaa), bulky and reliable and I had her mostly during my gaming phase. My second was a Toshiba (Qacen) and she ran pretty good too. Unfortunately, she went into permanent state of uselessness after a botched up surgery (Online upgrade to XP SP2) and it later turned out that her BIOS hadn’t even been installed properly. The third was also a Compaq (Diecisis) and is still in usable condition. I don’t feel much of an attachment to her, since my sister ‘borrowed’ her for about two years while in Melbourne. Generously, she gave it back when it became horrifyingly obsolete and probably not advisable for those without the patience of a saint.
Just like a car, she would crash when I’d let out verbal complaints – “Jeez, women give birth faster that this” – so I’m writing this post on my new laptop, with the screen turned away from Diecisis, since I’m still using her to play some games and with her being my main downloading machine and everything (I’m not sure if Diecisis is literate, but let’s stay on the safe side).
My biggest complaint about her would be the fact that with a 256MB RAM and 1.64GHz processing speed, I could only run one memory intensive program at a time. I had to choose between downloading, converting videos, burning or surfing the web. Thank goodness I find watching download speeds picking up or seeing the time remaining for the burning process and the percentage of completion for video conversion very entertaining, otherwise I would’ve grown really frustrated. And you say I need a hobby, tch.
She also didn’t have a built-in burner, so I bought an external one and connected them with a USB to IDE cable. It’s like computer porn.
…Yeah I probably need a hobby.
It was time to get a new one and I bought my fourth, Jessica, about a few weeks ago. I glanced through her specs, saw the price quote and fell in love, albeit intending fully to try out an Asus this time around. Imagine a backdrop of evergreen forests, cascading waterfalls on a moonlit night, and a flat-chested figure running in slow motion towards her soul mate personified in the form of an inanimate object. It felt exactly like that and now I should either start reading more edifying romance novels (who the hell gets romantic in a jungle?) or again, get a hobby.
Or padded bras.
And guess what? Jokingly, I asked my little sister if she’d mind contributing to the spontaneously initiated Aziemah’s-Laptop-Fund, and with a slight moment’s hesitation, she said yes.
She gave me a thousand bucks.
One friggin K for Ka-Ching, baby!
While your younger, devilish spawn of satan that happens to share the same parents with you goes on to read your personal diary, tell mom about the condom she dropped found in your purse or post Zac Effron’s posters all over your shared bedroom and complaining to everyone after you defecate on it for the sake of mankind, mine gave me a thousand bucks to buy a laptop for myself.
I love money my sister. <3
Linda came at a whopping RM3099, with a free 2GB RAM upgrade and I spent another RM280 for Vista Premium. Check Marjorie out:
HP’s new Compaq Presario CQ45-137TX is a 14.1-inch notebook with Intel Centrino 2 technology,
NVIDIA GeForce 9200M GS graphics chipset card, Integrated Altec-Lansing speakers and 1.3MP webcam.
Detailed Specs:* Intel Core 2 Duo Processor T7350, 2.4 GHz
* 3 MB Level 2 cache, 1066 MHz Bus speed
* Intel 960GL Express Chipset
* 3-GB PC2-5300 DDR2 (800 MHz), 2 SODIMM Slots (maximum 8 GB)
* 250-GB Serial-ATA Hard Drive, 5400 rpm, 150 MB/sec transfer speed
* 8X SuperMulti Drive Double Layer (8.5 GB) DVD Writer with LightScribe
* 14.1-inch (35.8 cm) WXGA+ High Definition BrightView Widescreen display, 1280 x 800 pixels resolution in 16:10 Aspect Ratio, BrightView Screen Technology
* NVIDIA GeForce 9200M GS graphics chipset with upto 251-MB shared video memory
* Intel PRO/Wireless 3945ABG Wireless LAN 802.11 a/b/g Network Connection
* Integrated Bluetooth v2.0 connection
* Broadcom 5787 10/100 integrated Ethernet LAN interface
* 56 kbps v.52 modem/fax
* Full Size 101 Keys Keyboard
* Altec Lansing Stereo Speakers, 3D Sound Blaster Pro compatible sound 16 bit integrated
* 2 Omni-directional microphones
* Integrated 1.3 Megapixels Webcam
* Integrated Biometric Fingerprint Reader
* 5-in-1 integrated Digital Media Reader supporting xD, Secure Digital cards, MultiMedia cards, Memory Stick, Memory Stick Pro media cards
* ExpressCard/54 slot, Support for ExpressCard/34
* IEEE 1394 Interface – video capture interface
* HDMI Digital Port
* Microsoft Windows Vista Home Basic Edition
* 6-cell LiIon Battery, 2.5 hrs backup
* Dimensions: 33.4 cm (L) x 23.7 cm (W) x 2.6 cm (min) H / 3.9 cm (max) H)
* Weight: 2.50 Kgs (with power pack)
This review echoes all my own opinion of Stephanie (If you’re wondering about the constant change in my computer’s apellation, it’s because I’m going to think of a new one until it feels right. If you’re wondering what kind of efftard would name her laptop and talk about feelings… go jump off a cliff).
Vista has been running well so far, though I find Windows Sidebar overwhelmingly fun. A program that would crash intermittently, despite the upgrade in RAM and processor? Splendid! I play a game in which I’d start guessing the next time it would cause another computer freeze and by golly, guessing ‘every fucking time’ had been indeed accurate! I know, it’s like I’m psychic!
Overall, I’m satisfied with it. Here’s my pimped up desktop, with some Vista widgets on the side and basic customisation tools to beautify the ugly (Rainlendar, Rocket Dock and Samurize).
Most loved feature:
Biometric Fingerprint Reader.
Most despised feature:
Windows Sidebar.
Last and somewhat definitely least;
Windows Experience Index:
Top 3 Most Annoying Male Course Mates
When you’re staying in an all-girls college and when 90% of your classmates are female, you can’t help but be pulled into that foreboding black hole of…
CUTE GUYS DISCUSSION TEEHEE!
If you know me personally, you’d probably realise that it’s not exactly my bread and butter. I’d rather discuss Dyjae, Farah and Mirah and other hot girls scientific anomalies, the latest shocking stories on the divisible line of human compassion and animalistic cruelty or my favourite of them all; the latest gadgets hardly available as of yet.
Of course, I don’t get much of that in UiTM and after spending three semesters here, it’s inevitable that I’ve adapted to the culture and conventional objects of interest. Which is, surprise surprise, the opposite sex.
In complete honesty, I’ve only found one guy to be attractive out of the whole male population in UiTM. However, he’s relatively unknown thanks to his low-profile stance and shy demeanour, which makes him more appealing. He’s fairly good looking but best of all, since he frequents the gym, he has that slightly muscular and lean figure which he, thank god, doesn’t showcase to the world in the form of extra small polo T’s or ridiculously tight jeans. Plus, he’s in the Dean’s list.
He’s also Izyan’s latest crush, heh heh heh. :P
Back to the point, since guys dominate most of the conversations with most of my acquaintances here, I’ve noticed that there are names that would invariably pop up. Here are the top three, followed by my personal opinions of them (Keep in mind that I don’t know any of them personally):
Note: I’m not really sure how accurate the subjective descriptions of their innate personalities are, seeing as they’re comments and reviews by my friends who have crushes on them. Though the physical attributes associated to them are my personal opinions.
Guy #1: Izmil
(Sorry for the crappy picture, it was taken from the APAcS Friendster profile. :P)
One thing about Malay girls, is that they really dig Malay Chinese-looking guys. Which is… very lame. It’s probably because actual Chinese boys give them scant attention.
And, here’s a jaw-dropper, this guy has somewhat Chinese features.
Gasp.
Fair skinned, slightly slanted eyes and a sharp chin, he’s an instant favourite at first glance and very much over-rated. He’s so popular that even though he seems to be the quiet and low-profile type, he has flocks of visually challenged adoring fangirls. I find him not so annoying because reportedly, he’s not flirtatious with girls and he wears only casual clothes. He’s rather short, however, but it wouldn’t be slim-pickings for him seeing as most of the girls here are goddamn annoying dear lord why must they exist and torture me so short anyway.
More importantly… he’s an APAcS member.
DIE APACS MEMBERS, DIE DIE DIE.
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Guy #2: Hazriq
(Don’t blame me for the down syndrome looking picture. It took ages to find his Friendster profile and even then, the pictures were crappy. Stupid.)
Now this guy is unbelievably popular as well. I’m not annoyed by him as much as the previous one, because he gets his adulation from being a very nice and helpful APAcS member. In fact, word is, he’s actually responsible and does good with his obligations, so no triple ‘DIE!’ angry bursts at him.
Well, maybe just one.
DIE.
This guy, however, is not too good looking. Button-nosed and slightly pug-ish features, he’s also relatively short and chubby. He wears tight shirts that seem to be almost ripping at the seams, too. But, even I admit it, he has really nice eyes. Someone once told me that you don’t need very attractive features, only very mesmerising eyes to have people falling for you.
He’s a walking testament to that statement (Ooo testament is an anagram of statement. Coincidence?).
It is also important to note that his fangirls are the least annoying, since he attracts the shy, quiet type.
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Guy #3: Qushay
(From his friend’s Myspace profile, seeing as his was set to private. Man can’t believe I wasted my time searching for all these pictures. You people better pay me for giving visual depictions.)
This name I will never forget (Though I keep forgetting his face >.>).
If the previous two can’t really care less about clothes, he is more fashion conscious, preferring the rock star wannabe look, complete with emo hair *cough*lame*cough*. He’s very tall and owns rather forgettable, pretty boy features. Girls adore him because he gives off the ‘cool’ vibe, sort of like your typical clichéd bad boy in a clichéd high school scene.
He’s the most annoying because he’s the most popular. In fact, that’s the reason his name is imprinted in my brain. Like him or not, his name never fails to pop up very frequently since he’s either the subject of hate, or like, but almost never neutrality.
Now I’m more concerned about his fangirls. His fangirls are the boisterous, attention desperate, dolled up types. He’s popular with the karat girls (dyed-hair chicks), the generic Gucci bag, wears-D&G-sunglasses-indoors chicks or the two-sizes-too-small-mini-Ts and extra-low-rise-jeans airheads.
You know what, I think they deserve their own special mention;
Guy Girls #4: Qushay’s fangirls
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When it comes to guys, I either enjoy their company (very few of them. Maynard, Gerard, Zakil, Jerome, Frederick, Azizul, Daniel, Larry you get a special mention here :D) or ignore their existence completely. With girls, I either really like, or really hate them. I like Dyjae, Mirah and Farah because they’re really attractive, yet they act humbly and almost take no notice of their own prettiness.
I’m not too annoyed by Izmil or Hazriq’s fangirls as well, since although apparently blind and with bad taste, they’re rather decent people.
Qushay’s admirers however… eesh.
They’re hardly attractive… in fact, they’re downright fuck ugly (except for this one totally hot karat girl who I have my eyes on), brand conscious, materialistic and their backs are arched so prominently, I swear they’re gonna poke someone’s eyes out one day. Like their object of interest, they’re the clichéd ‘it’ girls of a student community.
Only that they’re ugly.
Which I find discomforting (UiTM’s weird. The beautiful ones are submissive while the ugly ones are over-the-top).
But worse of all is how blindly and obviously they lavish him with attention, which is an embarrassment to the female race in and of itself. If Guy #1 and Guy #2’s fangirls would look at these two behind shady pillars or stealing only covert glances at them, Guy #3’s are the “Oh no you don’t, bitch. He’s mine, ghetto style baby!” *snaps fingers* type.
Jeez. And they say the males are the ones disintegrating our female pride and respect.
You know, the actual point of this post was to give a message/caveat to some;
Dear people with nothing better to do with their lives… if you’re a UiTM friend of mine, please do me a favour:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TALKING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.
Top 3 Hottest Course Mates
Here’s an introduction to my classmates, and subsequently, these three bevy of beauties:
According to a lecturer, our class is the experimental class. They wanted to compile the elites with the best academic results into one class and see how we cope with the new, more comprehensive and heavy teaching methods. The minimum As to enroll into the class were 8 As and most of them scored straight, while some others were already funded scholars.
One thing pleasant about my classmates since the very first semester is that, they seem to be the lucky ones.
The natural winners of the genes lottery pools.
Beautiful, smart, funny and charming are the words that I would describe some. In fact, their physical attractiveness is a topic of such heated arguments that we’ve had numerous debates on who’s the fairest of them all. These three are the favourite candidates and here are the winning titles we’ve unofficially given them:
· Khadija aka Dyjae
Dyjae is on a full scholarship and if that’s not enough, she is one of the most attractive in the class. Skin as fair as winter snow, complexion as smooth as pristine fields of a wintry scene and full, pouty lips of a pinkish-red hue. She has a slightly defined jaw line, nicely shaped nose and such huge eyes I initially referred to her as a doe-eyed beauty. Just a little mascara does wonders to that mesmerising stare of hers.
When she smiles, her eyes light up and you can’t help but subject yourself to her every whim. With that sweet tone of voice that she possesses, she has the guys flocking around her like lambs surrounding a shepherd.
Dyjae, we present you with:
The Sweet Beauty Award
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Next we have:
· Farah aka… Farah
The first thing you’ll notice about Farah is her very high, sing-song voice carried by a lilting accent. Most of those with that way of speaking would have you cringing in agony, but Farah’s is just so naturally, unpretentiously adorable that you’ll be cringing in desperate need to pinch her cheeks. Plus her ridiculously cute dimples don’t exactly douse the fire.
Her bangs hang animatedly over her big, innocent eyes and her wavy hair falls in drapes over her slender shoulders. Her square face acts as a beautiful canvass to that inexplicably cute smile of hers and those slightly teasing eyes.
Truth be told, Dyjae and the subsequent candidate surpass her in terms of looks but in terms of personality, she has the highest percentage of completely charming you. She is so excessively cute that it makes you feel like a volcano on the point of eruption, and that is probably why she has the most admirers out of the three.
Farah, we present you with:
The Cute Beauty Award
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And last but not least:
· Amirah aka Mirah
Mirah is what we describe an exotic beauty. Intriguingly, she has those oval, Egyptian eyes that mysteriously twist upwards very subtly at the corners. She also has very full, luscious and pouty lips that never escape notice. We jokingly, though rightfully call it ‘The Angelina Jolie smile’.
Rather unapproachable to strangers, Mirah exudes a sexy, almost mysterious aura. She has a slim, well-endowed figure and she carries it elegantly, marking an almost regal presence.
However, there’s a tricky side to her beauty. You probably won’t notice her the first time around and she doesn’t give a lasting impression, unlike the previous two. If with Farah and Dyjae ‘What you see is what you get’, with Mirah it’s ‘The more you see, the more you get’. Sure enough, as with most exotic things, you’ll only be magnetised by her attraction the more you pay attention to her.
Mirah, we present you with:
The Sexy Beauty Award
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There you have it, the three candidates. Personally, I vouch for Mirah to be the best out of the three, simply because I’m more easily swayed by sexiness.
…But then Dyjae is so pretty too… And Farah is so cute…
Feh. It’s just a matter of personal preference.
Who’s your favourite?
An Apple Crumble Cheesecake Tale
“Izyan… these aren’t orgasms in the mouth anymore. My tongue is climaxing.”
That’s how good Izyan’s Apple Crumble Cheesecake is.
She was bored one weekend when she decided to try out something new. Her half-lidded eyes and listless hands were shuffling in tune to the muffled drones of the TV in the background while she eyed the multi-coloured cake creations and array of ingredients in the recipe book before her. The multitude of designs that flawlessly envisioned a pastry chef’s true artistry, bedecked in magnificent colours that told a flowing story of ideas evolving into grand creations were met with nonchalance.
I would’ve been salivating all over the book.
Then, her hands abruptly stopped when an intriguing title caught her eye. It was simple enough, no titles of grandeur or haughty foreign name (which sometimes seem random) to accompany the pastry. It read;
‘Apple Crumble Cheesecake.’
Spurring her inactive gears to life, she turned off the soporific voice of the TV and hastened to the kitchen where to me, the wonderful and edible magical things happen. She was hit by crushing waves of inspiration and the need to bake was overwhelming.
Not that I’m complaining.
Soon enough, all the baking peripherals were before her. She was set out for war and the ammunition was cake ingredients.
Meanwhile, deep in the outskirts of civilisation we call UiTM, I was bumping my head against the wall repeatedly, more numbed by the throbbing pain of boredom than anything else. I had little clue I was to experience a bout of intense pleasure from a non-obscene orifice.
Hell yeah.
Monday came about and I was invited to stay another night over in her room in Seroja. I took my laptop along so we can enjoy musicals like Dreamgirls, Grease and Hairpsray heehee badass movies with plenty of explosions, illogical death tolls and jugs the size of balloons on the point of bursting. The night seemed fun and promising, but whatever preparation I took, I was ill-prepared for the onslaught of euphoria in the appearance of (what we shall now refer to as) THE ULTIMATE CAKE OF ALL TIMEZZ (TUCOATz).
“Surprise! I bought cheesecake!” She excitedly exclaimed, reminding me of a pre-teen bragging about her latest Nick Carter poster. If that really happened, I thought, it’d sure be fun to have a loaded gun.
“Oh.” It seemed nothing new, so my lack of enthusiasm was rudely apparent.
“Apple Crumble Cheesecake!” This time, her lips creased into a sly smile.
“OH?”
Almost in slow-motion, she opened the lid of a worn-looking Tupperware while my eyes glistened in childlike anticipation. True enough, the old container was as misleading as Britney Spears’ twin silicones because inside it hid an image of pastry splendour, baking magnificence, cake beauty and all those words of English rule-breaking praises. An (imaginary) halo of resplendence shone over the TUCOATz, augmenting its appearance and accelerating my speed in salivating.
Surreptitiously wiping my pool of crystal clear saliva onto Balqis’ bedsheets, Izyan handed me a fork to have the honour of being the first to taste it.
…Okay fine, so I literally grabbed the cake and fork from her hands. Watcha gonna do ‘bout that, huh punk?
Anyway, elated by the extension of such an honour, I took a HUGEASS CHUNK delicate bite, wanting to savour TUCOATz.
The moment my mouth closed around it, I felt an explosion of taste. My taste buds melted at the slight sourness of the apple, the sweetness of the cake, the rich creaminess of the cheese. It was crumbly and moist as I bit into the crunchiness of the almonds. Just lightly, I tasted the zest of lemon juice and the inexplicable taste of cinnamon, the ingredients Izyan added as an afterthought. I sighed pleasantly as every taste danced distinctively, yet harmoniously on my tongue.
All in one bite.
And (this time, I’m not joking or being sarcastic), I teared.
I DIDN’T CRY *COUGH*.
Just that ONLY ONE OR TWO tears started materialising out of its own accord.
Izyan, touched by my wordless appreciation, took a picture to commemorate the moment and thanked me from the bottom of her heart.
“What the hell. You’re crying?? Shit I’m taking a picture. Hahaha here’s something to make fun of!”
Die, bitch. If only your cakes weren’t so orgasmic.
THE END.
The Aziemah is Here to Stay!
UiTM has its fair share of social stigmas. For one, it’s made of one part Malay, one part racism and one part Malay.
Did I also forget to mention it’s also one part Malay?
I took my official university acceptance with a pinch of salt. I never thought I’d end up in a university with statistically lower than average standards, abysmal achievements and generally sub-par students. The strongest resentment I have against UiTM is proven by this conversation I had with someone in the very first semester;
“Man, don’t you guys feel lucky?”
“What for?”
“Well, you guys managed few measly A’s for your SPM, and you get accepted regardless.”
“I got 4 A’s, I deserve my placement.”
“Yeah well, I have plenty of Chinese friends getting straight A’s, even A1’s, with impressive co-curricular records and they’re forced to fork out their own cash to get into private universities.”
“Your point is?”
“Well you guys can hardly compare to them, and yet you get to be in a University where we pay a meagre RM500 for one semester, subsidised food, living accommodation and all these other perks. The only thing we have over these people is that we’re Malays.”
“So? They’re foreign people. Who asked them to be in this country?”
“…What?”
“This is our country, and they just menumpang. Who gives them the right to complain over something they don’t deserve in the first place?”
“…”
“Malaysia is for the Malays. Us. This is our right, not theirs. If they don’t like it, then they should just get out.”
This is apparently, general consensus. I knew there was something wrong about an all-bumiputera University, but I didn’t expect such insolence and ignorance. It was at this time I doubted my decision to reject the offer for Mechanical Engineering under Petronas. The course might suck, but at least I would’ve been around more educated people.
The problem is essentially, the people.
The mentality.
The culture.
I had no other problems with UiTM. I quote Irene; “First-class facilities, third-class mentality.”
You see, you guys might not be aware but there are a lot of perks in UiTM Shah Alam, despite it being the cheapest public university. Government subsidised, we’re talking about major spendings on architectural aesthetics, practical assistance to students that naturally don’t come cheap, significant allocation on study grants, up-to-date technology and the lot.
Here are my favourites:
- UiTM Shah Alam is HUGE.
- Decent transport system, with Rapid KL and UiTM busses having internal and external routes within the main campus.
- Practical and very well-maintained facilities. We have an indoor swimming pool, several gyms, comfortably-sized clinics with free medical and dental service (we don’t even pay for the prescribed medicine). There’s the world-class library and updated computer labs, award-winning buildings, art galleries, restaurants, a hotel (run by students) and so much more.
- UiTM plays host to plenty of national competitions, speeches by renowned people and copious national events. Even celebrities visit now and then and I’ve spotted a few in Menara SAAS’ cafe.
- Food subsidy and free in-campus accommodation for those eligible.
- Free Wi-Fi for most colleges, lecture halls, selected buildings and the likes. Under leisure traffic, I’ve gotten download speeds of up to 1000kb/s.
There’s also the man-made lake that set the government back one million and the award-winning waterfall designed by some foreign architect that cost the University two million.
Don’t ask.
Anyway, now in my third semester, as mentioned in my previous posts, I’m finally at peace. I was initially confused, but I know why now.
I’ve started to truly love my friends here.
Against all odds, they’ve charmed me and cracked my introversion. They’ve proven themselves unlike the branded stereotypes around. I’m just frustrated that I’ve only realised how much I actually like them in the third semester, when the scholarship offer to UK was granted. If I don’t fail any CAT papers, I’d probably start a new semester in London this September.
I don’t want to leave them.
Why must it be now?
PS: Another reason to love UiTM: I’m in the Dean’s list! And, I found out few days ago from an annoying classmate that retarded Magician Guy is having a semester break. That means he’s not around. One less douche bag in UiTM, and I can’t be anymore happier. :D
I wrote that last week and was meaning to post it, but there’s a new update!
I’M NOT GOING TO LONDON!
My Mak Long called few days before and told me, seeing as the college I was assigned to was not a well-reputed one or anything (actually, it’s pretty crappy), then I should just not go. Studying in the centre of London would be cool and all, but if it’s at a crappy college then why bother, right?
The lecturers would be happy, seeing that they sat me down and gave a two hour persuasive talk on not leaving too soon. My uncle would be happy because he’d rather I stay in UiTM as well. I’m happy because I get to visit Australia by the end of this year with my favourite cousin. My friends were happy when I told them. Izyan would be happy because… well I would be happy because I get to eat more free blueberry cheese tarts and cheesecake that Izyan would bake.
Though… I later found out from Izyan that she and the seniors were planning a surprise farewell party for me at Sungai Gabai.
Damn.
Should’ve told them after the party.
Burn in hell, fashion designers. Burn in hell.
Today I’ll give you guys a treat… But first you have to endure some boring re-telling of my mundane life which I pretend to be oh-so-super-exciting like every other self-proclaimed ‘blogger’.
I stayed over at Izyan’s house/mini-mansion/rustic resort last weekend. Three gazebos, a fishing pond, vast space, eight Persian cats and much, much more. I should take pictures next time.
Saturday, we shopped at Berjaya Times Square, Sungei Wang, Lowyat and Pavillion. The purpose?
TO BUY GIRLZ CLOTHES. YOU HEARD ME, SISTAH *SNAPS FINGERS*. (Of course, we didn’t shop for clothes in Lowyat… my feet just started moving by itself to that safe-haven cursed building).
As a favour to Nurisya, I’ll probably take pictures of myself in them but that’s probably after I learn lock-picking to steal from your nearby Sony electronics/gadgets store.
Oh, and meet Balqis:
…I don’t know why she’s making that face either. It’s quite embarras… On second thought, who is that stranger to the far right?!
To be completely honest, I didn’t enjoy clothes shopping. It felt forced. I didn’t have much of an opinion about any of the clothes, nor did it compel me to have a preference. The purpose of these two was to stop me from buying clothes for guys. Apparently, I can’t tell the difference in gender clothings.
Additionally, it was not until the 2nd hour when my mind started conjuring images of piled female clothes, a tank of gasoline and a lighter.
An improvement, I say. :D
Now for the treat. Guess what Izyan normally does on weekends?
She bakes. (OH WOW, REALLY AZIEMAH? FROM ALL THOSE PICTURES, I COULD HARDLY TELL OMGZORZ!)
In fact, she’s even running a business. What’s impressive is, the whole thing was her idea and it’s quite profitable and is currently amassing popularity.
Her niche is in baking cupcakes. Accordingly, she uses a vanilla/chocolate cake recipe. Even her icing has a vanilla essence to it, with a zesty aftertaste. It’s not sweet and very light, and that’s why I actually ate whole spoonfuls of it before she caught me doing so. The designs are absolutely charming, too:
But what I think is ingenious is the part where she commercialises it as the perfect birthday surprise, where the customers select the design:
And it’s cheap! She told me that she went around surveying the prices of others, and was appalled and how steeply priced they were.
Here’s the pricing extract from her website (Her sister runs the website, but Izyan actually has the skillz):
Cupcakes
small
Vanilla – RM0.70/piece or RM29/box
Chocolate – RM0.80/piece or RM33/box
small sized cupcakes – minimum order 42 pieces or 1 box
big
Vanilla – RM1.20/piece or RM36/box
Chocolate – RM1.30/piece or RM39/box
Cookies and Cream – RM1.30/piece or RM39/box
Chocolate Mud – RM1.50/piece or RM45/box (no change in pricing)
Egg Free Chocolate – RM1.50/piece or RM45/box (no change in pricing)
I’m blogging about this not to help her advertise or anything (I don’t think it’s possible under the amount of traffic I get anyway) since as things are now, she doesn’t seem to need any help. It’s because I’m very impressed at the affordable price she sets. I’m definitely ordering some for my Mak Long for her birthday.
Another thing, it’s a pity that most of these designs were from the earlier batch, when she was not as skilled. Her recent ones are much more impressive, neater and more creative. She has yet to upload these so maybe I’ll show them to you when she does.
Oh, and I saved the best for last:
Blueberry Cheese Tarts <3.
Yesterday, I actually helped her bake 140 of these in a night! I didn’t mind though, because I was paid for in cheese tarts. What’s amazing is the crust is deliciously edible by itself. The base is very thin, so she call fill in generous amount of cheese fillings, and the sides are very thick, so they’re not crumbly and eating it doesn’t result in a mess. She even uses expensive cheese as the main ingredient, so I was wondering if she was making a profit when she set the price at RM1.20 per piece (Standard price I’ve seen is around RM2 – RM3 and you don’t even know the quality of the ingredients)
Now I can’t decide which to get for my Mak Long.
To tell you the truth, we didn’t help Izyan much during our stay. Like little kids, she gave us rejected cupcakes and we played with the multi-coloured icings and designed our own god awful monstrosities amateur designed cupcakes. On Sunday, before we left for UiTM, we made a friends-forever cupcake.
Lame as hell.
(But awfully pretty!)
UiTM July 2008: Second Week
I’ve finally settled myself in UiTM and I can finally call myself an ACCA student. That is, if the results that come out in August shows that I didn’t fail any papers. Things were hectic the first week and all, but I’m just bummed I’m not roommates with Izyan anymore.
Who else am I going to hug bigass adverts showcasing cancer-ladled food products with?
In fact, we’re in different colleges. I’m now staying in Melati in which I’m dependent on either Rapid KL or the internal UiTM bus to get me to class. I’m ecstatically spending the mornings missing at least 3 buses because in Malaysia, queuing up for the bus apparently gives you malevolent cancer on vital organs and increases the chances of your uncle’s cousin’s husband being a sodomizing homosexual. I’m also thrilled by the pungent smell of rotten carcass and cheap Chow Kit generic perfumes that waft gently from everyone’s armpits.
Basically, after evening classes, I’d just hang at Izyan’s room because I still consider her my best friend, and, well, because she has lots of junk food. Our friendship is strengthened by the amount of junk food I get to swipe from her stash. This is also to avoid the massive human traffic at the bus stop. It’s simple math, really. It’s a choice between;
a) Half an hour of damning your ability to smell peoples’ stained armpits, overhearing conversations of ‘Gedik‘ this, ‘Tau takper‘ that, missing three buses and making it on the fourth overflowing one in which I get to molest some pretty nice girls you witness potential harassment lawsuits right before your eyes, or;
b) Steadily decreasing Izyan’s weekly ration of junk food.
Oh by golly gee. Whichever should I choose.
I didn’t, however, appreciate the point in which she basically called me a retard when I visited her room for the first time.
“You didn’t bring any soap or shampoo?!”
“Nope.”
“Seriously? Then how are you going to shower and all?”
“I dunno. Don’t really care. Borrow someone’s soap and shampoo, maybe?”
“That’s all you didn’t bring, right? Then you can have some of mine.”
“That’s nice… but I also didn’t bring toothbrush, toothpaste, pants (except for the one I’m wearing) and I only have about two shirts for class.”
“What the hell…”
“I couldn’t bring too many bags, so I only brought necessary items.”
“Those things ARE necessary items!”
“They’re luxury items to me.”
“…Then what exactly did you bring?”
“My laptop, burner, IDE to USB cable, harddisk, Zune player, blank DVD+Rs, mouse, laptop cooler… and oh, a towel and bed sheets.” :D
“Oh wow, You remembered to bring bed sheets, you idiot? I’m amazed.”
“Dude I’m not THAT stupid. I even brought the matching pillow sheets.”
“And did you remember to bring the pillows?”
“…OH SHIT.”
There you have it. Main reason why Aziemah has been using a folded towel as her pillow.
To be honest with myself though, I’m starting to enjoy myself here. I’m pretty sure I didn’t inhale or inject any strong narcotics into my bodily fluids to have me experiencing actual joy, so it must be because I’m temporarily insane.
If I were a guy, I’d so be an effing tripod.
How often do you get random strangers coming up to you, and asking those common questions that we’re obliged, due to social niceties, to answer?
“Excuse me, how do you get to this location?”
“Do you have the time, please?”
“Sorry but, do you have change for a dollar?”
And my personal favourite;
“Hi. Are you a girl or a guy? My friend here thinks you’re a girl and I’m betting otherwise. You’re a guy, right?”
This is when my self confidence starts to waver and I start wondering just how many piggy banks I have to smash to pay-off silicone implants.
Though as far as random strangers go, it’s less insulting than when relatives mistake you for your brother. Before I start off on my whining inner-reflective rant, let me clarify something;
I do not look like my brother. You shall find my justification in Exhibit A:
Can you deny such irrefutable logic, crumbling mortals?
And Exhibit B;
On the right, you may witness über cuteness and shall be saturated with the mystical force generally known as kyaaaa-ness whereas on your left, you may wonder what grand misfortune has befallen this unfortunate mortal, uh, judge for yourself.
I have come to acknowledge that the crux of the problem lies in the way I dress myself. This knowledge is due to having four out of five acquaintances enthusiastically telling me such dire information that before this has been withheld only by geniuses in fields of brain surgery and nuclear science. They have, matter-of-factly, imparted said wisdom by sharing with me a powerful secret;
“When you dress like a boy… people can sometimes think you’re… a boy!!”
No shit, Einstein. How old are you, nineteen? Does your age reflect how many times you were drop on the head as a baby?
Six years, people.
Six.
That’s how long I’ve endured annoying remarks on my dressing style. How long I’ve had to sit and listen to people giving suggestions and advice on becoming more feminine, how to sound more demure and how to walk elegantly.
If I feel like arching my back and giving people the impression that I intend to poke their eyes out with a super-nipple-attack while jutting my ass out to refine my ability in hip dislocation, I’ll solicit your advice, thanks.
That’s also six years of birthdays in which I receive at least a feminine garb, gaudy accessories or a pink… something. Which were, by the way, delightfully received by my other friends for their birthdays. Why, I’ve always wanted something to cut my cost on future birthday present purchases! How could you have ever known?
But then, after six years of incorrigible dressing habits, six years of mentally committing acts of unspeakable nature on ass-jutting, nipple-eye-attack individuals and six years of mastering the suitable facial expression and intonation for ‘What, really? A girl should actually dress like a girl?! Wow do I give a fuck!’, I’m finally revamping my wardrobe.
Don’t think this is thanks to those that have continually assaulted my mental health with their incessant ramblings and vast knowledge on dressing like you’re;
a) Dressing in the dark
b) Colour blind
c) A hooker; and
d) A colour-blind hooker dressing in the dark.
This is only due to the person whose good opinion matters to me. When it boils down to it, I guess what my Mak Long says makes a lot of sense. It’s time for a change.
When you mull it over, it’s not normal for a nineteen year old girl to only own;
a) Shirts at least two sizes too big, with two thirds belonging to her brother and the remaining ones purchased at least five years ago / were gifts from others.
b) Pants belonging to god-knows-who (Dear god-knows-who… thanks for all the pants! :D).
c) Shoes salvaged from the storeroom or were gifts from her bargain-hunting sister.
d) Freebie caps, wallet and socks as a gift from her aunt, and two watches that were stolen borrowed from her brother.
I don’t even know whose towel I’m using and I really hope both my sisters never realise they’re missing a significant number of Baju Kurungs…
To sum it up… total amount I spend on clothes or accessories annually: RM0.00.
I can’t say it’s totally my fault. When you’re talking about stylish designs, CPU casings have me salivating and not the latest Jimmy Choo’s. The only thing I’m interested in when going into shoe stores is the realisation that high heels are the progenies of Lucifer’s minions (The length of the heels is proportionate to the amount of condensed evil imbued in your soul) and how when shopping for clothes, females lose about three quarters of their cerebral control (Oh my god! I can’t decide to choose either this top that looks no different from the other one #1 or this top that looks no different from the other one #2!).
And not to say I’m a spendthrift or anything. Last year, I burnt a hole in my pocket the size of Pamela’s beach balls to get new RAM sticks, few SoundBlaster audio cards, Phillips headphones, a Belkin modem, at least 400 DVD+Rs and many other random computer paraphernalia. Recently, I got a 120GB laptop harddisk, a 500GB desktop harddisk, a 30GB Zune video player and 200 more DVD+Rs. I’m also daydreaming about building a computer from scratch (9800GTX… quad core processor… piano black casing… 22” widescreen monitor… *drools*…) once I’ve settled my accommodation problems, getting better Phillips headphones and a DivX playable DVD player and stereo set by the end of this year.
<daydreaming mode> When I start working and when I’ve finally amassed enough of zee moolah… I’m gonna get a 40” LCD TV… home theatre set… super computer with high-end rig… Blu-Ray player… Game consoles… Portable DVD player… a super ergonomic swivel chair… a chicken… </daydreaming mode>
…
Damnit. Must find rich, dying husband with a flexible will. Work hard and earn all those through honest blood, sweat and tears!
Money’s definitely gonna be a problem. Unless I’m a particular multi-billion dollar business magnet with a limp animal on my head and a last name that rhymes with Hump, I’m not going to be able to afford the stuff I really want anymore. The only reason I can afford one expensive item is because I don’t spend on several cheap ones. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Let’s set a month-end resolution. By the end of this month, I’d have at least two (cheap) f… fem… femi… famine… feminine shirts and steal borrow p.. p.. pur… purge… purchase… something pretty and flower-ish for my feet. I promise this to you, Mak Long!
…Looks like it’s not going to be easy though. Lord please have mercy on me. I shall pour my heart out for this new project and keep focu—
Hey look the latest Asus Maximus II Formula series motherboard is out!
